DEPLOYMENTS

We made it through our first deployment...

The countdown has officially started. Just a few short weeks, the man that I call "honey" "babe" "Snaily" and many other nicknames is about to leave for another deployment. The first one was rough. I just had a baby, and was terribly alone. Husband got shot at every other day, Had his striker blow up on him three different times, and saw things that he still can't talk about. 

I'm scared... really scared... but its hard to talk about it with him. He has so much on his mind to get done that the last thing I want to do is put my stress and worry on him. I want him to come home safely. He's the strongest person I've ever had the pleasure of meeting, but I know I can be just as strong. He just happens to be the glue of this family, the calm one, the person we look forward to seeing walking through that door. We can do it, just don't want to. 

It amazes me that we are a happy couple/family. The Army has a sick sense of humor. We happen to be a couple that rarely argues, has a good time, enjoys each others company, and overall has a connection that works. Yet here we are about to be separated. Then there are couples that argue every day, publicly say negative things about the other, yell, cry, threaten to divorce every other month, but they get to stay together as a family for long stretches of time (I'm talking years here) I don't want to judge other couples, but its hard not to when on FB all you see is the dirty laundry they don't mind sharing...

Everyday he comes home, more and more "items" are brought home to pack and prep. I just smile and give him kisses cause we have this odd understanding of what it all means. We don't need to say much, just glance at each other. And when our son gets into some of the equipment, I can see on my husband's face that it hurts him to know that time is winding down and our son has no clue. Damn.... it really sucks... I keep telling myself to wake up each day and try my best to enjoy it, smile, and kiss him. Hug him as hard as I can. Tell him I love him, that I need him, and want him near me...