First 24 hours...

Walking toward the buses...

That feeling and image will forever be seared into my brain.

The moment you hug and kiss the one person who makes you feel "super human" goes far away to a place that reminds you and them that they are just human....

It's scary, and makes you feel helpless. I need that man, not just for myself but for the small hand he holds in the picture. 

He asked about his daddy today... I reminded him of the bus and he continued with "he's in Af-ban-is-ban" , I smiled and said yes.

9 months

Seems short compared to a year but just as hard, if not harder... Please Pray for us, we need it.

...Strength...

What is Strength?? 

Is it being able to wipe away tears before anyone notices??

Is it being able to comfort a child with hugs and kisses knowing you need the same??

Is it feeling alone even though you have a support system just a call away and not call??

Or is it being able to look into the mirror and smile at your self and say, "today I'll try harder to laugh" 

Strength is hard to "define".... but each day I find it easier to feel....

Sweaty Hands

The last four to six days have been nothing but nerves and worry.

I've been noticing FB posts and Blog posts of wives stating (teary eyed) that their husbands left that morning. I know some, not all of them, and understand their worry and fears as they post them. Imagine hugging the person you chose to spend the rest of your life with, then letting go.... not KNOWING they will return safely or in the same sate you last saw them. 

I'm a morning person, but these last few weeks I dread them. It feels like I'm on death row, and my day is coming up. (no, never been to prison) I try not to think about it, but its hard. Every kiss feels so desperate from both sides. Every hug seems a few seconds longer. Every Picture we feel the need to smile even harder...

So, in a few days I'll be on here pouring my heart and soul into this blog on how it felt to hug, kiss, and say I love you to someone I won't physically be holding, kissing, and loving on for the next 9 months.

 Pray for us, cause it will be a hard week.